My 2nd Birthday

Back when I was only a 1-day old mommy.

So....technically I'm 28. But today in the shower, I realized that December 8, 2015 was my second birthday as a mom. Therefore, I'm only 2. Yes. And somedays (most days) I feel like I'm only two. So much has changed since our little Lizzy entered the world. She has grown and developed a personality like you wouldn't believe. I think there's a chance, though, that I've changed just as much as she has.

I started thinking about this because I was thinking about places to go out to eat as a family. Before Lizzy was born, our favorite places were the ones with great food. Easy. Now? Now, I most appreciate the restaurants that provide the crayons, coloring pages, and cups with lids. Oh, and stickers. (Thanks Olive Garden!)

I thought I'd make a BL (Before Lizzy) and AL (After Lizzy) list. Some are super random. Sorry Charlie.

BL: I rarely wore white...because I'm pale. And it made me look even pale-er (is that a word?)

AL: I NEVER wear white. Because dirty hands. All the time. I blame myself. Once when we were outside she got dirt on her hands and was seriously stressing it, so I had her wipe her hands on my pants. Bad decision. Bad.

BL: I'd sit in the sun and try to get a tan. Because, as previously mentioned, pale.

AL: We hide from the sun. Sunscreen up. Sun hats. Shade. Sunglasses. Because I would cry if that sweet baby skin ever got even the tiniest bit red.

BL: I did not share food. Sorry bout it. I like my food. Deal.

AL: I share everything. Lizzy asks for "a bite a bite" and I just cave. She eats half my food most days. That little babbling voice gets me every time.

BL: I only thought about sleep when it was time for bed. Ok, and some other times too. But now....

AL: SLEEP. Sleep is essential to the living and the breathing and the food-making and the putting-words-into-sentences doing. Is she getting enough? Never. Too much? Never. When is nap time again?

BL: I thought a lot about what I would do/accomplish if/when I ever grew up.

AL: I think about how to get through the day I'm in. If it's a day away from her, I scroll through pictures of her little self and can't wait to be by her side. If it's a day with her, I dream about nap time and daddy coming home. Seriously, how can 4-5 PM take SO VERY VERY LONG? I just do my best and try to give myself grace for my tired, happy heart.

BL: I liked kids well enough, but was always ALWAYS ready for their parents to come and get them. I wouldn't have called myself a "kid person."

AL: Oh my little girl. I adore her. Someone mentioned the other day, "Wow, she talks a LOT." I hadn't even noticed. Maybe it's because I studied linguistics, but I can't get enough of her voice. It fascinates and delights me. I LOVE having a peek into what is going on inside her head. I might not be a "kid person," but I am, absolutely and completely, a "MY kid person."

BL: I had no idea how selfish I was.

AL: I am completely aware of how selfish I am and I try to fight it every day. Just yesterday I was pooped. Like for real. So I put Lizzy down for a nap too. (She wasn't really tired...oops.) After a few minutes of tears and "Mommy!!" I realized that while I was tired, this was my chance to love my little girl. Lately, she's started saying "Mommy's here." I tell her this all the time when she is upset. Hearing her say it makes me want to fight my selfish heart even more.

BL: I thought I was doing alright. I generally believed I had it together.

AL: I realize have no idea what I'm doing. We're getting to the point where discipline is more than necessary. And I've never disciplined anyone in my life. Poor child. We will figure this out. Anybody got tips for biting? Help.

BL: I knew in my head I needed Jesus.

AL: I know in my heart and soul that I NEED Jesus. I can't do this without him and I wouldn't want to. And I suppose this is terribly ironic because BL I had time to spend with Jesus. Now, I'm exhausted and sometimes it takes all I have to open my Bible. I read the other day in Isaiah about how God gently leads those with young. And I couldn't be more thankful. He is gentle with my tired soul. He loves me even when all I have to give him is what I have left. What a good God he is.