The Very Best Very Bad Day

Dear Lizzy Grace,

You'll never remember yesterday, which is probably good, but I want to remember it forever. We started out rough. At about 1 AM. Yes, Only one hour past the official start of the day. You had your one-year molars coming in and you were just miserable. I tried to give you some infant Tylonel, but it was dark and I'm not sure how much made it in your mouth and how much ended up on my pants. I put you back in bed and you were just so sad.

I went back in to cuddle you and hold you a few more times and finally at 3, I gave up and brought you to bed with me. You curled up next to me, put your head on my pillow, thumb in your mouth, and out you went. That's how we woke up in the morning. You had the best (worst) bed head of your life so far.

We got up, I got you a muffin and some milk, but you didn't want much to eat. A few minutes later I figured out why.

I was in the bathroom, attempting to do something to my bedhead. You crawled in and I picked you up....then you started spewing. First I thought you were just spitting on me (as still happens occasionally), so I took you to your room to lay you on the changing table. Then I realized you were throwing up. (And wished I had stayed in the bathroom).

So I kinda froze. Sorry. First-time mom here. First-time-being-puked-on mom. It just kept coming. I didn't want to scare you by freaking out and I didn't want to clean up a puke trail, so we just stood there and you puked all over both of us and the rug and the changing table (where I had decided to direct the nasty since it had a washable cover). I had no idea that much fit in your tiny baby belly. It was gross. I didn't freak out (mom points!) at least not out loud.

When you were done, I took off your clothes, called your dad, and we sat in the bathroom and watched Daniel Tiger on my phone until he could get home from work to help us out of our smelly situation (oh, P.S. you had pooped like 3 times too.) We got us cleaned up, brushed your teeth, and then I just held you.

And that's pretty much what we did the rest of the day. I held you. You stopped growing for just a minute and I held you. You put your sweet head on my chest and I tried to memorize every detail of you exactly as you were right that minute.

The way your eyelashes had flecks of red. The dimples on your hands where your knuckles will be. The callus on your thumb from rubbing it against your teeth when you suck your thumb. Your amazing blue eyes and chubby baby cheeks. The way you sighed when I rubbed your back. The way you needed me and only me for just a little while.

You're growing up so fast. You'll be one year old in only a week and 2 days. But you are, and forever will be, my baby. I will always think you are perfect. I will always want to memorize everything about you and I will always wish you would never change, while at the same time being thrilled for every new miracle as you change every day. You are my blessing, my happy.

I'm so sorry you felt sick yesterday, my darling, but it was my very best, very bad, very smelly, very precious day.

Growing and changing so fast! And feeling mostly better at Grandma's house today.